So my new philosophy on love is simply this: I ask myself "would the old Mak have done that or reacted in that way?" If the answer is yes, I DONT DO IT!!! Sad, I know. But recently I have come to realize i cant ride this train forever. I mean I do want to be married someday and in order to get something new you have to do something different right?
Ive been single...well...most of my life so that has allowed me to acquire certain bad habits that are not conducive to my long term goals. I have largely operated in this mode where I dont have to hold myself accountable for the things i do and say and if I am brought to do so I usually jump ship. The old Mak says of this "I dont need his drama!" But what really has my panties in a bunch? Fear of commitment? fear of settling? Fear of settling with the wrong one? Or is it something a lot less deep?
So not too long ago I met a great guy. Right up my alley. Fun to be around. Intellectually stimulating. Handsome. Great Kisser. Really sweet guy. and what did I do? Make him insecure by holding onto this do what i want, with whomever i want, whenever I want mantra. And for what? Its not even really what i want! (sigh) So now he all but hates me so I guess its back to the drawing board for me. Eh maybe he just wasnt the one. In any case THIS time Im gonna do things right so that if things dont work out I can at least say I did my share. Wish me luck! I gotta get this thing going if i wanna be married and start having kids before Im 40!!!! ahhhh!!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment