Solemn vow

Looking through Christmas albums makes me happy, nostalgic, and hopeful for the future. It also conjures up in me some strong emotions about aging. (dont ask) but whatever the case I, Makaroni, do solemnly swear to never become so old as to accept pants with slouchy crotches as acceptable!!! That is all. Merry Christmas to all!

Lay off the chicken, Makaroni!

So the good news is that my boobs are substantially bigger. The bad news is that so is everything else and I will be needing new bras and pants for Christmas! (sigh!) U hear that Santa? Dangit! I stood in line patiently and waited to have my picture taken with him only for this FRAUD to tell me that I only get one wish this year! Its a recession he says! HA! So much for my much needed human blanket. Next year?

I almost killed myself!

Its Halloween and as I hear the screeches outside of the window of the medical school, I cant help but think of all the horrors that I have been spared this year. One that comes to mind most immediately is the incident that almost killed me TWICE this week! I will only tell one story because both incidents occured in exactly the same fashion.
Yea so ne ways Im in my obstetric rotation (which, by the way I DESPISE), and Im sitting in a student "lecture". I have never been a "lecture person" in the sense that I am a self-diagnosed adult ADHD and absolutely hate being talked at. So Im sitting there feigning interest, with my back to the attending with the instinctual knowing of what was to follow. My eyes become a burden, my arms? useless twigs. The weight of my vast knowledge no longer held by its structural support! Then suddenly, without warning, my head gives way and i fall sideways away from my seat only to catch myself before the final plunge with a sudden wide-eyed stare that elicited much stifled glee from my compatriots.
Now with my back still to the attending, Im only hoping he did not see my sudden swift shift. Meanwhile, I launch a menacing grimace to my classmates in an attempt to sober their hushed giggles and grins. Minutes pass....The attending says nothing of it. Phew!
As we were dismissed for the day he leisurely mentions the topics for the presentations next week and adds hopefully we will all be well rested so that none of us come in here narcoleptic! (or something to that effect) (Sigh) Foiled once again!

to do list

I think before I die i want to eat a spider...just to see how it tastes...

SKILLZ

Whoa! I just witnessed my cat master a skill that has the potential to eradicate any need of a man!!! Gotta love pets. ;)

All things considered

All things considered, id have to say Im a pretty lucky gal. Sitting in the surgery call room at 1 am, trying to be intensely still, I am SO thankful to be alive. all the craziness I have witnessed today reminds me how much God is with me. How much He cares for me and protects me. When I remember not to get bogged down with my emotions, the craziness of the highs and lows my mind forces me to experience, I realize I have come so far. Enjoying the journey

dc daze

Today I witnessed three birds fighting over a half-eaten fried chicken wing. show me a man that does not love d.c. and ill show u an ungrateful man!!!

SOOO over it!

You ever just wake up one morning and just didnt give a flying fruit bowl? thats how i woke up this morning. and it feels gooooooooooooood!

what is your vision?

So my mom, in her mom way, sought to encourage me. I had been feeling down about medical school as I have realized medicine is NOT my passion and not what I am called to do for the rest of my life yet I cant decide what else it is I should be doing. She goes on and on about how I always accomplish the goals i set out to seek. Just look at how you got into medical school she says. You just put your mind to it and did it, without guidance or really any insight as to how to get there but you did it and now youre thriving! She assured me that all i needed to do was get really clear about what it was I wanted to do and that it would surely come to pass.

So now Im spending my days imagining myself as a real housewife of Orange County, Atlanta, OR New York. Any or maybe ALL will do. Wish me luck!!!

I needed to hear this

When you refuse to love people because they're hard to love, you forget the fact that God always loves you, even though you're not always easy to love....

So Im trying to hold it down... Boy that quote couldnt have come at a better time!

:)

Sometimes I smile till my face hurts... I want to stop but my heart wont let me. every moment I am inspired by the animation of life all around me, the love flowing through me. How can I not be thankful for the blessing of life bestowed upon me and all it has afforded me? I have a responsibility to be faithful to it. To cherish and own it. To be careful with it and to respect it by being humbled by it. Smiling is my duty. Its the least I can do! :) :D

Let the church say amen!

the more men i meet, the more I love my dog. Thank you Carrie Underwood for your insightful words of wisdom!

Message from THE KING

Michael Jackson, King of Pop, was laid to rest today. Millions mourned as onlookers gathered to catch a glimpse of his heavily flower-laden casket, while others exchanged their favorite "Michael story", and it seems almost everyone has one. How did a single man, a single BLACK man, a single black man from such humble means, inspire and touch so many hearts around the globe? What was his secret that caused us all to be mesmerized by his silky notes, slinky dances, and glittery glove?
For many it was much bigger than that. His performances allowed us a glimpse of an at times seemingly fleeting God. He allowed the God in him to shine fourth by teaching us to how to be energetic and enthusiastic. About life. About people. About whatever it is we do. To be relentless and fearless in our pursuit of our dreams. We learned that the sky is the limit if we put our whole hearts into what it is we are called to do. But maybe most importantly he taught us compassion and loving without limits or fear. He taught us that we could effect positive change in the world just by being the very best we could possibly be.
Upon his death we realize that we love him so much, claim him as our own because he represents the storm of potential in all of us. Each of us contains the same light he possessed and we have but to let it catch afire to blaze an equally amazing trail.
Even before his death he has been referred to as the greatest performer that has ever lived and even more so after. Those few who dare to argue the statement know at least this for sure: His legacy will live on much longer than anyone who viewed his descent into the dust.
Thank you for the life lessons Michael. You will be dearly missed.
Love,
Mak

New Love Philosophy

So my new philosophy on love is simply this: I ask myself "would the old Mak have done that or reacted in that way?" If the answer is yes, I DONT DO IT!!! Sad, I know. But recently I have come to realize i cant ride this train forever. I mean I do want to be married someday and in order to get something new you have to do something different right?
Ive been single...well...most of my life so that has allowed me to acquire certain bad habits that are not conducive to my long term goals. I have largely operated in this mode where I dont have to hold myself accountable for the things i do and say and if I am brought to do so I usually jump ship. The old Mak says of this "I dont need his drama!" But what really has my panties in a bunch? Fear of commitment? fear of settling? Fear of settling with the wrong one? Or is it something a lot less deep?
So not too long ago I met a great guy. Right up my alley. Fun to be around. Intellectually stimulating. Handsome. Great Kisser. Really sweet guy. and what did I do? Make him insecure by holding onto this do what i want, with whomever i want, whenever I want mantra. And for what? Its not even really what i want! (sigh) So now he all but hates me so I guess its back to the drawing board for me. Eh maybe he just wasnt the one. In any case THIS time Im gonna do things right so that if things dont work out I can at least say I did my share. Wish me luck! I gotta get this thing going if i wanna be married and start having kids before Im 40!!!! ahhhh!!

scrape up screw up

I hit a car today...a parked car...a parked car in a parking lot. I hit a parked car in a parking lot while someone watched me out the window.....I left a note with my name, number, and sorry. Not that it matters seeing as how there was a witness who probably memorized my personalized license plate parking in a private lot to go get some food. Dangiiiittt!!!It must be vacation time again.

(Sigh) So yesterday I accidentally flashed a man...

So check it. its morning and im taking my daily leisurely stroll down georgia ave. Im wearing a long shirt-dress and jeans. I have my hands in the pockets of my shirt dress and im checkin the wares of an antique shop and this dude is going into a liquor store. Well apparently i didnt realize how heavy my hands were in my pockets cuz the guy going... Read More into the shop stops and winks at me. then he goes "Hey girl. what that tattoo read?" Now anyone who knows me KNOWS i dont and never will have a tattoo. I dont know y i looked...But when i looked down my leftie was givin him the hey, hello pleased to meet you sir!

I pulled up my shirt and he just kept staring at me so then i laugh nervously and go "that WASNT a tattoo" and disappear quickly into the antique shop. Last time i roll out of bed and go for a walk without taking "proper precautions"

Talkin bout embarassed! I was left wondering how long I had been walkin around that way and how many people i had greeted who smiled back without telling me!

this is my life folks...